Well here in the last few minutes of 2012 I thought I would share my final thoughts:
This year has not been easy by NO means. But I was never alone in the struggles I faced. God gave me many great opportunities throughout 2012 many of which have helped shape me into a better person...the person that God desires for me to be. God has shown me this year the people who truly care about me and the people who really are my family. It was defiantly a life changing year.
(will be continued....)
Happy New Year!
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Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
If I Didn't Have You
Lately I have been struggling so much. I can't pin point why but I have been feeling unbearably sad. I mean I could tell you why I think I feel this way...but I'm not quite sure you'd understand. Life just isn't right. Maybe I chose the wrong path. Maybe I thought wrong about what God was calling me to do. On top of it all I can't seem to figure out why the one person I want to be with could make me as happy as he does and yet want someone else. There are just so many things going through my head that some days it makes me feel sick, and so sad that I don't care to be around people.
But there is one person in my life that no matter what I am facing I can't stand to be away from for to long. He hasn't always been a part of my life, but I don't know how I ever made it through life without him. I am so lucky to have had him in my life for 9 years now! He has been there for some of the hardest years of my life, and I couldn't have asked for anyone better! He is my hero, my greatest role model, my father figure, and most importantly my best friend! We have been through a lot together. We have had our ups and downs. He's put up with me and loved me through some of the most difficult situations. He has shown me what caring for someone is all about. Loving someone isn't always easy, but its your duty to do what's best for the other person -- that is something he has shown me. He has taught me what it takes to be many things, especially how to be a great pastor. He's has been there for me during many of my heartaches and the times when I didn't know if I could make it through. He has shown by example how to trust God. I've been alongside him for sometime now and he has taught me more than anyone else ever has in my life. He's so smart and good at what he does. There are a lot times I do things just like him without even thinking about it, some good and some are bad habits I have picked up...but I've never wanted to be more like anyone else in my entire life...except for like Christ. But that's just it. What he does follows in suit of how God calls us to live our lives here on earth. I could go on and on about him for a long time. He has a big place in my heart and I never want to lose him. I am so thankful God place him into my life! I know God knew at the time, but there was no way the first time we meet, that either one of us would have ever thought we would have the relationship we do today. God knew what he was doing. I couldn't live life without him and God knew that. I love him so much. I'd never make it through, if I didn't have him.
I couldn't live without you
I wouldn’t want to
If you didn’t love me so much
I’d never make it through
‘Cuz this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you.
I’m safe in your arms, you rescue me.
When I’m weak, you’re strong
If you were gone I don’t know where I’d be
{IF I DIDN'T HAVE YOU - THOMPSON SQUARE}
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Pay it Forward Event
Pay it Forward
My home church, Faith Community Church, put on a event called "Pay it Forward." Over the past few months we have been collecting different items such as clothing, housewares, furniture, blankets, toys, etc. All of these items were donated. This event was planned to bless those in need. We know that in today's economy many people could use a little bit of extra help and we wanted to be able to do something about it. The cool thing is that people in our community also wanted to help. It was amazing to see all the donations that poured in...especially as the event got closer.
I am proud to be a part of the FCC family. So many people from our congregation came together to set up for this event on Wednesday night. Tons of people were hanging clothes and organizing other items. It was a lot of work going through the boxes of stuff donated and it took many more hours throughout the weeks before to get things ready. I am so blessed to work alongside a few people who did take the time out of their hectic week to make sure things were ready. I am especially blessed to have helped my best friend/youth pastor work on things during Thanksgiving break.
We were not sure what kind of turnout we would have or even how things would go. But we hoped for the best!
This morning , people were lined up outside at 7:30ish for an event that didn't even start till 9. It was kind of intimidating!
Turns out today, 300+ people came through the doors of FCC to a jam-packed gymnasium where every item was free for the taking.
Now I know what your thinking...WHAT CHAOS! Ha don't worry...they were let into the gym gradually...no black Friday stampedes happened here!
It was awesome to see people enjoying the opportunity to even just get used items. A lot of people desperately needed this stuff just to get by.
I know a lot of times we focus a lot more on people in other countries who are less fortunate, but sometimes we have to remember there are people struggling right next door to us. They may have clean drinking water and a roof over their heads, and we should all be thankful for that. But people here in America need help too. This event wasn't just about helping people either, it was about showing God's love in a tangible way. A way that people could experience a taste of what God's love is like.
Thank you-- to all of you who volunteered today and for those who donated time, energy, and the items that helped make it all possible!
Chippy Left My World
This week my boy left this world. :'(
My heart hurts like crazy....he was so special to me.
We got him when he was 15 months old. His former owner treated him so badly. Because of being treated that way he was terrified of people. In which case we couldn't ride him, touch more than his nose, or get his feet trimmed. He always had so much spunk, and he was the most talkative horse I ever had. I would go out to feed him and he would whinny to tell us how excited he was to see us. Or when my pony was alive and we would take her on a walk in our yard he would call for her to come back. They were the best of friends. My girl past away this past spring because she got sick. That was when my boy became even more important to me. I was sure he would pass away soon after her because of how close they were. He never left her side. But I didn't want to lose him. I would go sit out in the pasture and eat lunch with him, talk to him for hours, and feed him peppermints. All this, so he knew he wasn't truly alone.
A few years ago when one of our farriers would came out, Chip would play jokes on him. The farrier would be trimming the other horses hooves and Chippy would steel his stuff. He would pick up his tool bag and run around with it and then bring it back. He would steel the farriers hat and fling it up in the air. He would try to take the farriers wallet out of his back pocket. It was so entertaining and I have never met another horse who was so silly with people, yet was scared of them.
You could always tell Chippy felt safe here, though he didn't want people touching him. He never tried to hurt us. He loved his family and I especially loved him. He was a gift from God. Some people would have never given him the chance. Some people would have said he was a useless horse. But I never once thought that about my boy. Chippy always gave me so much joy. He loved life, no matter how hard it got at times. He fought through the abuse he suffered before we rescued him, ever cold winter, and losing his best friend.
I can't bear to wake up every morning and look outside... He won't be there. I won't hear his whinny one last time. I won't ever get to say goodbye. I won't feel his lips tickle my hand as I feed him peppermints ever again. I won't see him sun bathing in the midst of his favorite fall days anymore. I won't get to talk to him when I'm sad and know that his listening by the way his ears stand tall as he'd look deep into my teary filled eyes. I'm sorry buddy! I should of never moved to college, I should have stayed here with you. I should have fought harder even after I thought the fight was done. I planned to have one last winter with you at least...we all did...the hay was deliver last week...we fixed the barn. I stopped being afraid that every time I saw you would be your last. It was hard to live like that, but at least I knew I would of been your last goodbye. But instead... you left this world and I didn't have a clue...I wasn't there to say my last goodbye...I wasn't there to tell you what a good boy you were and how much you meant to me.
Rest in peace buddy! [November 28th, 2012]
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