I've come to realize that I don't belong here. I never have and I never will. I'll never be important to someone. I'll never fit in. I've watched time and time again people walk out of my life. I wasn't good enough to keep around - no matter how hard I tried to make them happy or how much love I poured into them. Even the people I cared most about decided I wasn't worth it anymore, even after years of enjoying life by their side. The people I trusted with ever fiber of my being, the people I loved more than anyone else. When I needed them most, I watched them walk the other way.
Unfortunately, I have to come the conclusion that I won't mean anything to anyone - I wasn't put on earth for people to love, to care about, or to live happily-ever-after. I was put here to serve and love others. It doesn't matter if people hurt or ridicule me. It doesn't matter at all...because they will. It's inevitable. I have a purpose. I'm here to represent the Kingdom of God, despite it all. I may never be good enough for anyone on earth - but I am good enough for God. It's hard. It's hard to know I'll give my whole life for others and experience heartbreak like no other. But that's what Jesus did for us.
I don't ever desire for someone to experience the hurt and gut wrenching feeling of not having someone care about them. We live in a world with 7 billion people. Yet people are so caught up in themselves or what others say that many people will leave the world feeling hopelessly alone -all because people don't care how badly they hurt someone else as long as they save their own skin.
